Just a quick update:

So that summer was one of the best summers of my life. The guy I talked about, no he turned out to be absolutely psychotic. But, his best friend, turned out to be amazing and he is the one I have feelings for, and he feels the same way.

The only problem is, he moved halfway across Canada near the end of July, and I am now living in this world of emotional upset and loss because I miss him so much. We talk all of the time–for hours, and hours. Can you believe? We can just sit and talk forever. The chemistry is really something…

But it is so painful. To have someone that you connect with like that but not be able to be with them. I don’t know what to do. Right now Im just trying to detach myself from it to make the pain easier, but its so hard sometimes. Seriously… painful as fuck.

School is the heaviest ever. This is the first time Im doing a yr university with a part-time job, full course load (5), so I have time for nothing anymore. But I do love this site, so here I am. Sorry bout that.

All in all, Ive grown up ten fold this summer and experienced a lot of parts of life Ive never seen before. And Im thankful, despite all of the undeniably CRAZY shit that happened…… you dont wanna know.

Thanks for coming back to check on me anyways. ha ha. Hope everyones doing well in school / work…

So much shit has happened since I turned 19 and life got fucking crazy as shit.

Ive been going downtown and clubbing like a fucking alcoholic or some shit, but partying is the best and I love it. Ive made so many new friends and met so many new people and Im a changed person already, I love the night life but I gotta slow down on the drinking!

I met a boy first night out downtown, we’re dating now. I trashed the other guy I was dating, because I don’t think he ever really liked me or cared for anyways, he was mean as fuck at the heart of it all and I never felt comfortable around him. Im pretty sure he got back together with his ex couple weeks ago and didn’t even tell me, and tried to continue dating me at the same time. We had a falling out about it and we’ll never speak again. I don’t care, he wasn’t much to me anyways, except for an amazing learning experience and I dont regret shit. Seriously–I don’t regret anything, even though he never treated me that well.

This new boy is really amazing–Ive only known him for 2 weeks but we’ve gotten so close and we are so similar and I find it so easy to be comfortable and to be myself around him its ridiculous, and I dont get that with a lot of people. We are “casually dating” right now–and while its not exactly what I want, its something. And I have to take it. Cause hes not ready for a girlfriend right now (long story) but Ive totally fallen for him and he does have “feelings for me, important ones.” So I’ll have to just be strong as fuck and go with the flow of life cause I am so confused right now about shit I dont even know what to do. But thats life I guess you just gotta go with it. Wish me luck…

Just a quick post about my 19th birthday to show you what I got.

This is just the gifts I got from fam–I still have to get something from my friends. The ipod nano/video was probably the best present of them all, I LOVE IT. If you’d like to see more pictures of it (including the pretty case I got for it), they are here: one, two, three.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!